weird but wise

Its so weird writing for yourself(like write the blog and later read it urself and laughing at it urself..duh)..n speaking to yourself..conversations inside ur fishmarket mind..sometimes only 2 voices in the fishmarket..urs and urs..) and then posing for a self timed camera..and try to give a cheese smile for some imaginary cute photographer waiting to fall for ur smile..lol and hanging posters of dead people..and looking at them as if they were alive in the pics and watching you :P..crazy aint it..
u know for sure that theres never going to be any kind of retaliation to whatever you say or do. total inclusion of whateevr you do cos that dead thing or nothingness doesnt expect anything from you in return..whoa! what a great feeling! :D

these r the symptoms you get when you start doing writing a litearature review for just 2 hours..imagine ppl doing research! ......err .. now!!!!i might as well think twice abt my research dreams!!

i have gone mad..im just running from one poste of voidness to the other..! is there any nearby lunatic asylum...! oops voidness is chasing me..or am i chasing it!!!!!!! i ve gone mad!

to anyone

please dont read anything below this post..its only going to junk your cache memory in your computer n brain! i mean it!

how i wonder what you are !! deep inside my mind so vast...

How do i feel this mental voidness, emotional numbness..? the destination i have reached thru an invisible path..this is intriguing..! :) is this an outcome of some past happening of an extreme emotion..or some kind of loosing oneself stuff..its very interesting whatever it is. im surprised that my fingers are typing something even though fully drenched in this voidness..again intriguing..i ask myself why? but the question is lost somewhere in the unfathomably void spaces of my mind..i get no answer. i dont need to know now. for i get the same reaction whenever i experience an emotion of any kind. so theres no use. :)

i read this .. and these words appears to equally startle me every time i read it

"People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the
huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at
the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the
stars, and yet they pass by themselves without wondering."

-- St. Augustine

nastiness to nothingness

me and wilderness of thoughts in the chaos filled brainpatterns..someone please stop my mind!!!!!!!! i close my eyes, experience that killing silence and smile in a big achievement.. i wish i could stop it at my will..forever shut down this fishmarket trading bewildered thoughts of quandaries with intermittent glimpses of unknown nothingness as if this mind machine needs a stop-gap to function again! windows of my eyes ceases to see the colourful rainbow..its fed up of it..wants a change.. wants to close itself and get lost in the colours of the heart dictated fantasy drama of all times!

yet another menatl diarrhoea gushing out with blisters of semi filled quantas of stupidity, nonsense and illogical expressions of the perplexed mind.

Ultimately all philosophies and ideals boil down to one single thing : "a happy existence"

One might as well think twice about it..are we "really" happy by sticking onto them. The kind of security it offers us by "being" something, by "calling" us something is not mere an identity but basically a pseudo colour painted on our supposedly blank faces. ideally its not true. we think we become superior with those colours on us..shdnt we think abt it? This world is too far colourful itself to see thru our coloured eyes. we might as well have the freedom to see the world afresh and rejoice it than to wear our coloured maskes and blame it for being not as what we wanted!